Love you all, praying for you,
Have you ever noticed how expectations can betray you? Everyone of us carry expectations into pretty much everything. The way we want things to go or turn out. Whether it’s a conversation or an event or a relationship, we have a preconceived notion of how things should go, the result that will come from it, how people should treat us, and how much we will enjoy whatever we are expecting to happen in the future. Expect means to wait for, to look for, but expectations carry more than an anticipation of a future occurrence alone, they include our own personal preferences about that conversation, event or relationship to be something that we desire or that we would enjoy the most. Expectations often betray you. Why? Sometimes we have the wrong expectations. We don’t understand the purpose. We expect things from something that wasn’t designed to give them. Sometimes our expectations are selfish, sometimes they are unrealistic. Most often there are other parties involved, and their expectations may be totally different. Combine that with the lens everyone perceives with – two people can perceive the very same occurrence quite differently. One of the reasons expectations can betray you – is that they are rarely communicated, discussed and agreed upon. We just silently assume, which leads to disappointment and often the feeling of betrayal. Disappointment is OK, but it can lead to discouragement, or bitterness. It could result in unforgiveness, or a callousness that could prevent us from benefiting from similar things in the future. Expectations are assumptions. We expect things from a marriage – that a marriage was never designed to provide for us. And while we are waiting on our expectations to be met, we aren’t thinking at all about the other person's needs or expectations. Sometimes a vacation can become a disaster, one spouse expected a fun-filled activity-packed vacation and the other expected just to lay on the beach unplug, and unwind. Many people take jobs that just aren’t what they expected, and they are soon looking for another job. Perhaps the greatest miss-expectation of all time, was what the disciples expected from Jesus. They thought He was going to be the King of Israel, that He would take David’s throne, defeat the entire Roman Empire, and restore Israel to the glory days of years ago. Jesus was the King of Israel, actually He was and is the King of the whole world, of the heavens and earth... but His Kingdom is a spiritual kingdom far greater than a natural one. Their expectations blinded them from understanding what Jesus was there to do? There are some expectations that will always betray you. The love of money will always betray you – it takes wings and flies away. Pride will always betray you, it brings destruction every time, only humility will bring you honor. The pleasures of this world will always betray you – they are temporary at best and entirely unfulfilling, pleasure for a moment, but long term disappointment. So how do you guard against the betrayal of expectations? First find out what God expects, Second – seek to serve, not to be served, and third – communicate beforehand so unity and agreement can bring the best out of every situation – which is merely an opportunity, never a guarantee. Ask God what He wants from this conversation, event or relationship. God says guard your time, guard your thoughts, guard your financial obligations – guard your emotional energy, that includes guarding your expectations. If you know what God expects and intends, what He has purposed this for, and purposed for you... it will save you from misguided expectations which lead to disappointment. Seek to serve not be served. Think of others and their needs and their expectations as being more important than yours. If you spend yourself – for the benefit of others, this is the humility of Jesus who laid down His life for his friends. But be careful. Thinking more highly of others, doesn’t mean you allow people to encroach on your responsibility. God said bear one another's burdens, but each one must carry their own load. Don’t let others encroach on God’s will for your time, thoughts, money, or emotions. Don’t be controlled by others, be led by the Holy Spirit. And finally, have the upfront conversations required which can avoid misunderstanding, and mis-expecting. Sometimes just sharing your heart for something, and them sharing theirs – helps all parties gain what they need. Or it could even reveal this endeavor is not what God is calling you to participate in. Praying that your expectations will be Holy Spirit led - not you led... His ways are always better. Praying that you will consider others as more important than yourself, but that you will always establish boundaries that honor God’s will for you – not other’s will for you… And praying that you will become skilled at communicating in advance with others – (once you already know God’s purpose and expectations for you in this time, thought, money or emotional investment) so you can understand what their expectations are – to choose wisely if this is what God has for you and them at this time, or is another choice the better choice. Here’s what you can absolutely expect 100% of the time. If you lack wisdom, you can ask God and He will give it. You can 100% expect that if you call Him, He will answer, in the best way at the best time. If you let Him, He will fulfill His purpose in you and His purpose for whatever thing He wants you to do. You can fully expect that He will instruct you in the way you should go. You can expect Him to give you counsel in the night season, joy in the morning, and that every time you humble yourself – He will exalt you at the perfect time. You can expect His love for you will never end. And you can expect your obedience will always bring His reward. Praying that you will surrender your expectations to Him, so you can walk in all the good He has stored up for you. Love you all, dad
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